Another stop on our trip

The ending of out trip out contained little to actually write about.  We did meet up with my sister, Sharen, in Pendleton, OR  She drove over from Cultus Lake where she was camp hosting for the summer.  We went out for dessert and a great chat and then met again in the morning to go over and visit our brother, Gerald.  He is looking pretty well considering all things.  He is back on Hospice and I believe he has made his peace with God.  The hardest part is so, so, still in front of him.  His health is still doing a yo-yo, he rallies a bit and then it's 2 steps back.  I look forward to his letters - but then cry after reading each one of them.  But, back to the visit, it was a good one.  We had a few laughs, remembered a few old times, got pictures taken, ~ Gerald actually had some licorice and asked for a cola - I'm not sure he is "supposed" to have them ~ but at this stage - what difference is it really going to make - so he had what he wanted.  After Sharen took off to head back into the hills I went back for an afternoon visit.  We had to cut it a bit short as he really wasn't feeling that great.  I did get to meet his physicians' assistant and the head of the hospice care - so it was another greatly productive visit.  I gave him a huge hug since I know it will be another year before I see him again.

Visiting Gerald is always very bittersweet.  I love my little brother, hate some of the history he has, am compassionate about his disease, emphasize with his decisions about medical treatment, AND want him to be here to visit next year, but also know how much pain he is in, how long it has gone on, and know that his own wish is for it go be over.   I really do pray for God to be merciful.  That is about all that is left.