March 18, 2006


And LIFE goes on. It's a paltry little saying - isn't it? The news yesterday about the new little grandbaby we were expecting hit me rather hard. Here is a young couple that is doing and has done everything that they can possibly do to make life good for the many young children that have passed thru their lives as well as for the ones that God has provided to stay with them. And here they must go thru the loss of an unborn child. Loss of a child thru death is terribly hard on parents. I want so badly to be there with them - to hold and comfort them - but life has caused another type of loss for me - the loss thru life. My child has a family of her own to morn with her, care for her, and bring joy back into her life. She also has her deep faith in God and his love. Through the passing of years and the adding of the wonderful family that they have caused to be - I am no longer the Mommy that can heal her hurts with a kiss, an intervention, or offering my lap for a good cry. This caused me much pain. I have been very blessed in that it took so long before this time came. For many parents this part of life comes much sooner and less gradually. For me - it showed up with a huge slam. First reading that there was a new child expected - I had mistakenly thought that we were closer than that. Then reading of the horrible news - this made it all hit home. I am a very selfish person - I am taking thier tragedy and personalizing it. But it is my tragedy too. My daughter lost a child - and I feel as though I have lost the most precious thing that I have ever had - my close relationship with my daughter. And if I knew what do do to change that - or if the Lord in his wisdom will help me with the acceptance of this - I would be eternally grateful - because this deep feeling of loss is with me now. Why? All I can really do is ask WHY?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean to hurt you. just didn't feel like talking to anyone at the time, really. My kids don't even know what happened yet. I haven't gotten brave enough to tell the two that knew about the baby what happened. I'm sorry!