March 8, 2006

The Big Yellow House

The Big Yellow House and *Carmen at both did blogs today on the stupid things people say to people with large families!! The funniest story that I have on that is:

Several years ago, when S'te only had 6 children of her own and 4 foster children and I had 2 foster babies: we went to Babies R Us for port-a-cribs. She wanted one and I wanted one so we thought that we would get the "twins" deal there. We shopped for quite some time and the kids were really, really good. They all interacted like one huge happy family!! I was so proud of all of them. We were at the checkout stand with our slips for 2 more cribs and the checker asked me, "Are all of these kids yours?" Now mind you, there were 12 children and not only were several within months of the same age, we had all kinds of nationalities. We had hispanic, black, white, and mixed children. I believe we even had a Korean child in the mix. Anyhow, I didn't think much of it, I just answered, "Two are mine and the rest are my daughters" to which my daughter of 25 or so piped up with, "But Mom, I'M YOURS TOO". Which made us all laugh really hard. As if I would have forgotten that she is mine. Actually, the answer should have just been "YES" because they are all mine. My FAMILY. We have always considered any child that resides within any of our walls - ours.

I am always shocked by the people that ask wonderously "Are they yours". If you don't know us - Papa is a white haired, white bearded, Santa looking kind of guy, over 60 and I'm a short, round, salt & pepper brunette that is over 50. So when we go somewhere with 3 1/2, 2 yo twins, a 4 month and 2 month old of hispanic, caucasian, and black/indian heritage - no I don't think I birthed them - but guess what - yes, they are mine. Mine to love and care for until they are taken to thier forever homes. And only the good Lord knows when that may be.

We have had a visit with another potential "forever family". They seem very nice and very, very excited about becoming instant parents. This is wonderful and I enjoyed watching them and the children get together an learn about each other. I hope that this special couple understands that one of the special problems for foster children is thier willingness to soak up every bit of attention that ANYONE will offer - then walk off and totally forget them. I believe in my heart, that this ability is thier own form of insulation. They have been forgotten by the many and they forget the many. We teach our birth children not to talk to strangers. Don't go with strangers. If strangers try to touch you, run and yell. But when you are a foster child - strangers pick you up to transport you, strangers come to the park and play with you, strangers take you to thier homes - and you have NOTHING to say about it. You (the child) have to trust "the system" and if you have foster parents that don't care for the above - the workers lable the FP's as over-reactive and interferring. Well, today Papa let the workers know that we would transport to the meeting - over thier objections. We suggested and invited the PFF (potential forever family) to visit the kids at home before a pajama party is done. The workers overruled this by setting up a "weekend pajama party" for Thursday - Sunday - without any contact before then. So much for the childrens best interests and ease of transition;. I know these workers have place children in many homes. My question is - how many have transitioned children out of thier homes? It might not be the best thing in the world to just pack them up one day and say - you're going to spend the next 4 days here and then you are going back home and then you are going to spend some more days here and some more days at home and then you are going to move to the new home. Now, have I confused you as to what is happening? Imagine how they feel?

Enough of a rant for today. Looking forward to the California trip and had wonderful news from the Money Pit about Rod's deployment. Can't get much better than this. The best of all the worlds.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And you STILL left me out! I read your comment over at the big yellow house - mamma to 5, Amah to 9, and step amah to 2? What about ME!!!!! Don't I still count!? I know I'm grown and all but hey, I still like to be included!!! :*)